My husband has been very involved in raising Harris, right from birth, and I would usually refer to him as a “hands on dad”. I do wonder, though, in this modern age, with more woman working their way up the corporate ladder and becoming badass boss babes, does the term “hands on dad” have any relevance anymore? I reckon the millennial man would say that once they get past the grit and grime of late nights and around the clock nappy changes, that the job of “dad” is one they feel pretty confident about. Society has become more accepting that dad should have that extra time – maybe taking share of parental leave- or being able to stay at home, rather than work. So that he might not miss any important milestones, he has more options and flexibility and that gives him the best chance of being involved in raising his children from home.
This has become the situation in our household and, although I can’t quite call him a stay at home dad, my hubby sort of benefits from both roles.
Let me explain..
He has just taken on a new job, with new responsibilities, and along with it came the flexibility to work entirely from home – bar the odd jaunt down South to meetings- but basically a 9-5 home/ office job.
Now, to most new mums, this might seem like a lottery win – to have a second pair of hands, a co-pilot helping navigate the pitfalls of parenthood. There’s no reason why this isn’t the dream situation, right?
Well…. you’d think so, but having a stay at home hubby comes with a few.. let’s say, “inconveniences”.
Inconvenience No.1. Unfortunately our little flat doesn’t boast a space big enough for an office. Therefore we have had to improvise with a makeshift office in the corner of our bedroom, which may I add is rarely tidy, is always computer-lit come bedtime, and his office chair has now become a part-time clothes horse. (As displayed in photo below)
Inconvenience No.2. I have become his tea-cretary. This is my newly invented role as a secretary who only makes tea. And it’s a cup an hour!
Inconvenience No.3 The temptation to use husband’s services when, for example, there is a major Code Brown nappy situation, or a tearful meltdown. I have to realise that he IS in fact working and that a business call probably doesn’t sound too professional with baby wails echoing in the background!
But, all inconveniences aside, I probably don’t admit it to him enough, how grateful I am for how hard he works, and for everything he does for Harris and me. I have a few particular thanks that I’d like to put on record, for I hope that he actually reads my blog posts and will appreciate this.
To my nearest and dearest…
Thanks for putting food on our table and heating our home since circa 2013.
Thanks for not running for the hills, when I peed on a stick and summoned you to check the result.
Thanks for rushing out at ridiculous hours to pick up fresh oranges and chocolate when early pregnancy cravings were turning me into a human Godzilla. (Remember I used to make you juice those oranges by hand?!). Then, thanks for immediately hiding the chocolate after 4 bars were wolfed and my inevitable guilt set in.
And, then, after hours of withdrawals and my begging, thanks for not disclosing chocolate hiding place.
Thanks for the energy drink top-ups, hand squeezes and massages during labour. For your patience when my gas-and-air-fuelled gibberish and iffy language came out in the labour suite. Thanks for staying in the hospital with me after hours – even though you weren’t technically allowed to – to help me with feeding and bonding.
Thanks for researching all there is to know about bringing home a tiny human, just in case I hadn’t. And admittedly, I hadn’t!
Thanks for loving my post-baby body, tummy rolls, sagging boobs and all. You manage to squash any insecurities I have by being so complimentary.
You allow me time to rest and refuel after a long day with the rugrat, by running me a bath or cooking a nutritious dinner.
Thanks for your reassurance that I can do this whole mum thing.
And thanks for Harris. For the gift you have given me, to become a mum. Without you, we wouldn’t be a 3. I will always be forever grateful to you for that.
A collection of my favourites…
All my love,